Episode 7: You Can't Give Me a Ticket, I Plead the Fifth!
This misadventure is different in most in that--for once--I wasn't the key player. In fact, my much more non-risk-taking friend was the person who had the adventure. Which, as you will learn by reading these, makes this particular story very unique. Anyway...
Mean Cops. You gotta hate 'em.
I don't hate cops. In fact, I like nice cops who do their job and put crooks in jail. But school cops are a different story. They're bullies. And they're ridiculous. And I think they suck.
At least the ones at my school.
It was senior year and my friends and I made it a daily routine to cut classes and go elsewhere. There was always risk involved here because truancy cops would patrol the halls, just looking to shower sluffers with tickets. By this point it was nearing the end of the year, and we'd dodged them every single time.
But I guess you can't always win.
We were coming back from Carl's Junior, deciding to actually go to Stats that day since there was an exam. (This was one of only two times I went to that class that quarter--but that's a story for another day). We were running late, as usual, and after parking in our usual spot we entered the main building, heading for the second floor. We walked briskly, aware that most people were already in class, but I refused to do more than just a fast walk. Only freshmen and geeks run in the halls... So I was too cool for that.
But the bell rang before we made it, and the cops came out of nowhere, yelling and rounding people up as fast as they could. We ducked around the corner and slipped into Stats class. "We made it!"
But I spoke too soon. Just as we took our seats to begin the examine, one of Magna's "finest" came in and shouted at us.
"You and you, out in the hall now."
"But we're taking a test."
"No back talk, now move it!"
"This is ridiculous."
We were forced to stand in line with about a dozen other students, maybe even more. The officers (now there were two) began asking for our names and writing tickets.
Our film studies teacher (an insane lady with crazy eyes who was completely hashed on any-and-all drugs 24/7) walked down the hall at that minute. And, since she knew us (and we'd manipulated her on many occassions--more on this later) and we happened to have a camera in our hands, we hinted at her to give us an excuse for being in the hall. "We're filming that project for you McCay. You know *that* one..."
But she totally left us out to dry...
So we waited for our turn to hang. And I joked about giving the police a fake name. They wouldn't know the difference. Or I could even insult then by telling them I was Bugs Bunny.
Of course I wasn't going to do that. (I've survived by calculating the risks.) And I knew better than to lie to the police. That would have much more serious consequences than skipping class would, or even writing a forgery on a napkin (see earlier post). But while pondering what was and wasn't part of my rights, I realized that I could refuse to tell them anything.
I wasn't under arrest. They weren't giving me habeus corpus or miranda rights, or any of that. And I knew my 5th ammendment. I didn't have to testify against myself, and I didn't have to tell them anything. So I mentioned this to Matt.
But the cop who reached me was as big as a mountain and really loud, and shouting for no reason.
"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!" The ticket was in his hand, and a pen.
I told him my name without a though. My usual anti-authority sass melted like ice thrown in a boiler. He then gave me my ticket and I had to sign something.
"Now go to class!" (At this point class was 20 minutes deep).
Matt was next, but somehow he convinced himself to take a stand. But unlike me, he's a lot more ... passive. So he stammered a bit, and didn't raise his voice. Coming across--to me--as more of a professor than a warrior.
"Are we required to give you our name?"
"Don't try this shit with me, kid! What's your name?!"
"Am I required to give you my name?"
"All right wiseguy I've had enough out of you. Come on! Let's go!" And he dragged Matt down to the office. Of course, I wasn't allowed to go - as they ordered me to head back to class.
But I wasn't interested in going back to class. Now that I had my ticket, it was like a hallpass. And I had an excuse for missing the test so they'd have to let me re-take it.
So I slipped around the corner and headed outside the school. Once I spotted a good opportunity I entered the bottom floor and darted through the hall to the office. Matt was sitting in a chair waiting for something, no one else was around.
I entered and whispered to him, "Psst hey, let's go. I've got my car."
And for some reason, in my mind, this seemed like a good idea. We could leave while their backs were turned. Afterall, they didn't have his name. It would be the perfect crime!
But Matt, who was much wiser than me, refused. "That would be stupid." And when I came to my senses I realized he was right.
He fought the ticket briefly but before long gave in when they told him... "Look you can keep this up for a while, but you aren't going to win this one. You broke the rules so you get a ticket--end of story. We will get your name one way or another."
So we both got tickets. And we were both late to class by some 40 minutes.
"What a brilliant idea," I said. "Make students who are 1 minute late be 40 minutes late. That's efficient."
When I went to pay the fine I learned it was only $3. What a waste. All of that ... for $3.
This misadventure is different in most in that--for once--I wasn't the key player. In fact, my much more non-risk-taking friend was the person who had the adventure. Which, as you will learn by reading these, makes this particular story very unique. Anyway...
Mean Cops. You gotta hate 'em.
I don't hate cops. In fact, I like nice cops who do their job and put crooks in jail. But school cops are a different story. They're bullies. And they're ridiculous. And I think they suck.
At least the ones at my school.
It was senior year and my friends and I made it a daily routine to cut classes and go elsewhere. There was always risk involved here because truancy cops would patrol the halls, just looking to shower sluffers with tickets. By this point it was nearing the end of the year, and we'd dodged them every single time.
But I guess you can't always win.
We were coming back from Carl's Junior, deciding to actually go to Stats that day since there was an exam. (This was one of only two times I went to that class that quarter--but that's a story for another day). We were running late, as usual, and after parking in our usual spot we entered the main building, heading for the second floor. We walked briskly, aware that most people were already in class, but I refused to do more than just a fast walk. Only freshmen and geeks run in the halls... So I was too cool for that.
But the bell rang before we made it, and the cops came out of nowhere, yelling and rounding people up as fast as they could. We ducked around the corner and slipped into Stats class. "We made it!"
But I spoke too soon. Just as we took our seats to begin the examine, one of Magna's "finest" came in and shouted at us.
"You and you, out in the hall now."
"But we're taking a test."
"No back talk, now move it!"
"This is ridiculous."
We were forced to stand in line with about a dozen other students, maybe even more. The officers (now there were two) began asking for our names and writing tickets.
Our film studies teacher (an insane lady with crazy eyes who was completely hashed on any-and-all drugs 24/7) walked down the hall at that minute. And, since she knew us (and we'd manipulated her on many occassions--more on this later) and we happened to have a camera in our hands, we hinted at her to give us an excuse for being in the hall. "We're filming that project for you McCay. You know *that* one..."
But she totally left us out to dry...
So we waited for our turn to hang. And I joked about giving the police a fake name. They wouldn't know the difference. Or I could even insult then by telling them I was Bugs Bunny.
Of course I wasn't going to do that. (I've survived by calculating the risks.) And I knew better than to lie to the police. That would have much more serious consequences than skipping class would, or even writing a forgery on a napkin (see earlier post). But while pondering what was and wasn't part of my rights, I realized that I could refuse to tell them anything.
I wasn't under arrest. They weren't giving me habeus corpus or miranda rights, or any of that. And I knew my 5th ammendment. I didn't have to testify against myself, and I didn't have to tell them anything. So I mentioned this to Matt.
But the cop who reached me was as big as a mountain and really loud, and shouting for no reason.
"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!" The ticket was in his hand, and a pen.
I told him my name without a though. My usual anti-authority sass melted like ice thrown in a boiler. He then gave me my ticket and I had to sign something.
"Now go to class!" (At this point class was 20 minutes deep).
Matt was next, but somehow he convinced himself to take a stand. But unlike me, he's a lot more ... passive. So he stammered a bit, and didn't raise his voice. Coming across--to me--as more of a professor than a warrior.
"Are we required to give you our name?"
"Don't try this shit with me, kid! What's your name?!"
"Am I required to give you my name?"
"All right wiseguy I've had enough out of you. Come on! Let's go!" And he dragged Matt down to the office. Of course, I wasn't allowed to go - as they ordered me to head back to class.
But I wasn't interested in going back to class. Now that I had my ticket, it was like a hallpass. And I had an excuse for missing the test so they'd have to let me re-take it.
So I slipped around the corner and headed outside the school. Once I spotted a good opportunity I entered the bottom floor and darted through the hall to the office. Matt was sitting in a chair waiting for something, no one else was around.
I entered and whispered to him, "Psst hey, let's go. I've got my car."
And for some reason, in my mind, this seemed like a good idea. We could leave while their backs were turned. Afterall, they didn't have his name. It would be the perfect crime!
But Matt, who was much wiser than me, refused. "That would be stupid." And when I came to my senses I realized he was right.
He fought the ticket briefly but before long gave in when they told him... "Look you can keep this up for a while, but you aren't going to win this one. You broke the rules so you get a ticket--end of story. We will get your name one way or another."
So we both got tickets. And we were both late to class by some 40 minutes.
"What a brilliant idea," I said. "Make students who are 1 minute late be 40 minutes late. That's efficient."
When I went to pay the fine I learned it was only $3. What a waste. All of that ... for $3.
